Trading Places

I just finished an excellent book on relationships / marriage by Les and Leslie Parrott. I've heard their names over the past few years, but never really delved into too much of their stuff. I had the opportunity to hear Les talk at a Gary Smalley conference simulcast a few months ago and was super impressed. They're both psychologists but are very practical and down-to-earth. Their latest book, Trading Places, was being featured in the books for sale in the lobby and I took note of it. It came to mind again a few weeks ago and I bought it for myself and Summer. It's been a great read with some great insights, but I just hit the gold mine in one of the last chapters. It's 6 how-to tips for helping your spouse / significant other to see your side. They're in short summary form here, but they expand them more in the book. I'm sure you can identify though, even in this short form, if you've been in a relationship for a period of time. I just had to share 'em. If you dig, get the book! There's more where this came from.

Share your "highs" and "lows".
It will help your spouse experience your day.

Set out the right pair of shoes. (explain what you're needing)
It will keep your spouse from missing the mark.

Highlight your most important emotional needs.
It will remind your spouse of your hardwiring.

Get specific with your gripes.
It will increase your spouse' likelihood of doing something about complaints.

Provide a bit of context.
It will tune your spouse into the meaning behind your emotions.

Give your spouse the whole picture.
It will keep your spouse from having to play emotional games.