10 Mistakes In A Conversation

Interesting and thought-provoking read...

Relationship Resources

Me being the idealist that I am, Summer and I have worked some really cool resources into the development of our relationship. Because they've helped us and we've only just begun, I wanted to share. Whether you're single, dating, engaged, or married, you'll find something useful in the following list, I guarantee it!

All About Me
I can't remember the first time I heard about this, but it definitely piqued my interest and I bought one a year and a half ago or so to fill out just for my own benefit. I love taking time to really dig into myself and find out what makes me tick and what I really like or dislike. This book covers SO many things about you, your family, your friends, your viewpoints, your fears, etc. It'll take you a couple hours to fill out if you think through it, though the trick is to not overthink it but just write down the first few things that come to mind. Me and Summer each filled one out and gave it to each other and I have to say it was amazing to read through. It's a huge help in bringing things to light that may not come up in everyday conversation and really helped us learn about each other quickly. But enough promo. You need this. You'll need several copies as the years go by. So here's where to buy it...

Amazon link

For Women Only / For Men Only
Regardless of your relationship status, you NEED this. If you're single, get a head start and read this a few times. Then read it again when you get in a relationship. I highly suggest reading both books, too. Reading FWO really helped me understand my core feelings as a guy and helped me to understand why I think like that.

FWO Amazon link
FMO Amazon link

Trading Places
I already wrote a post about this, but it begged to be mentioned again. This'll help you understand how to better empathize with your significant other and will help you learn how to communicate your mood and feelings to them.

Amazon link

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
Don't let the title fool you - even if you're married, this will still be helpful. I just bought this today and have been dying to get it after reading the synopsis about it. Les and Leslie Parrott need to have several places in your home library and I'm expecting amazing things from this. They have workbooks for both women and men for this and with what I know of their work, I'm sure they're worth getting.

Amazon link

Love Talk
I just happened on this one yesterday, but the Parrotts are blowing my mind already. I ripped through 100 pages of this short book last night and was floored at all the helpful information they cram into just a few pages. They have a writing style that cuts the crap and gets to the core point without boring you or dragging it out. And let me tell you - they nailed me in the face several times already. YOU NEED THIS. And the workbooks, which from what I understand, have 20 or so exercises to help you better understand yourself and the way you interpret things and communicate. Once me and Summer get into those and the online assessment, I'm sure we'll be blown away with the effectiveness and helpfulness of this book. I know I already am and I've only done part of the reading portion of the process!

Amazon link

I Love You More
I haven't read this yet, but it's yet another Parrott-written resource. Seeing a pattern here? Ha, I don't hide my respect for them and give them props every chance I get lately.

Amazon link

Every Woman's Marriage / Every Man's Marriage
I don't know much about this besides the little I read on Amazon when I found these yesterday, but knowing how good Every Man's Battle was and how good the synopsis of both of these sounded, I'd bank that they're great resources.

EWM Amazon link
EMM Amazon link

Assorted others
Amazon link :: Love & Respect
Amazon link :: The Five Love Languages (there's also a men's edition)
Amazon link :: Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?
Amazon link :: Yup. Nope. Maybe.

Trading Places

I just finished an excellent book on relationships / marriage by Les and Leslie Parrott. I've heard their names over the past few years, but never really delved into too much of their stuff. I had the opportunity to hear Les talk at a Gary Smalley conference simulcast a few months ago and was super impressed. They're both psychologists but are very practical and down-to-earth. Their latest book, Trading Places, was being featured in the books for sale in the lobby and I took note of it. It came to mind again a few weeks ago and I bought it for myself and Summer. It's been a great read with some great insights, but I just hit the gold mine in one of the last chapters. It's 6 how-to tips for helping your spouse / significant other to see your side. They're in short summary form here, but they expand them more in the book. I'm sure you can identify though, even in this short form, if you've been in a relationship for a period of time. I just had to share 'em. If you dig, get the book! There's more where this came from.

Share your "highs" and "lows".
It will help your spouse experience your day.

Set out the right pair of shoes. (explain what you're needing)
It will keep your spouse from missing the mark.

Highlight your most important emotional needs.
It will remind your spouse of your hardwiring.

Get specific with your gripes.
It will increase your spouse' likelihood of doing something about complaints.

Provide a bit of context.
It will tune your spouse into the meaning behind your emotions.

Give your spouse the whole picture.
It will keep your spouse from having to play emotional games.

Me & Summer.

Well, it's been a while since a post! I had been awaiting last weekend for forever and once Thursday night rolled around, I wasn't thinking of blogging. Sorry for the lack of content. There's some tasty stuff on the way. Rest assured.

The weekend turned out more incredible than I could've thought. Absolutely perfect weather, loads of fun activities, and great company. And things only got better after Saturday afternoon when me and Summer decided to take our relationship to the next level. We met at Easter in St. Louis but, long story short, didn't talk much until the first part of June. Since then we've been going back and forth every day and we've both really enjoyed getting to know each other. She's incredible. Truly. I know I sound like your typical, "this is my first relationship and I can't control myself" boyfriend, but we do have a wonderful relationship already and are excited to see it unfold. The long-distance thing should be fine, although I'm sure, difficult. I'm already making the trek down to T-town a week from Sunday.

If you're not my friend on Facebook, you probably haven't seen these, so here's a couple pics of the weekend. Props to Gary Hornstien for the use of his Nikon D40 and his creative-thinking-cap bandana. :) And also, to my sister, Rachel, for acting as producer in making sure errybody looked great. "Places, everyone!"

It's Official!

Me and Summer Sylsberry are officially dating as of today. :) She hails from Tulsa, OK and is a sweetheart in every way. Pics to come soon!